Mountains are bones, rivers are blood, gods are machines, and history is a lie. Pangu died here. And upon his remains, we built a new civilization. This world is a vast, startling dream. Ah. Ah. Oh, the political commissar is looking for me. Truly, Comrade Sister Mei. Hey, wait. Hey, Dan Mei. Morning. Morning. Dan Mei. Oh my, why are you so late? We’re about to start filming; there’s no time for makeup. Hurry up, hurry up, quick, quick, quick! I know, I know, stop rushing me. Hold on. Do you remember your lines for that scene? First question the Snow Fox, then draw your sword. Don’t just pull it out directly. Put more emotion into it. Miss, your sword. Got it, got it. Brother, hurry up, hurry up. Let’s shoot a few hundred episodes, quick, quick, quick! Have you ever saved a fox on a snow-capped mountain? You are that fox. No, you’re that Jiang Boya. Wrong. I am the wisp of spiritual energy in the air, five meters to the left of the third stone from the left at the foot of the Snow Mountain. You stepped on me when you climbed the mountain. Take my sword! I’m telling you, it’s truly miraculous. My cat Mimi ran away from home for a whole day. You made a quick calculation and said it was hiding in the southeast corner of the neighborhood. I went home that night and found it immediately. Where did you learn such Taoist arts? That’s amazing. When will you teach me? How about I take you as my master? Xiaohua, why did you scare Dan Mei again? Oh, Lu Xia, why do you have another doll? Ah, the usual. A fan gave it to me. Oh, I’m so envious of you. Fans throwing themselves at you every day. Ew, what an ugly bull. Hmm, Lu Xia, you’re not wearing anything underneath? It’s too hot on set. Here, let me help you. Are we still having late-night snacks at the usual place tonight? Of course. Hmm, your pants are way too tight. It’s because Lu Xia’s butt is so perky. You two are acting like hooligans every day. Hey, Master, what’s wrong? Pink or green? Wow, green. Green. Do you remember what I told you when you were little? Hmm? Meimei, your tribulation has arrived. Are you okay, Da Mei? Are we still going out for dinner tonight? Let’s wait until I get back to eat. Gui Water, the utmost Yin, births human bones. Three and seven combine to answer the Heavenly Script. At twenty-one, encountering Chen and Xu, once the Gate of Life moves, the path of tribulation recedes. What tribulation? Did you bring your compass? I did. With your innate Utmost Yin constitution, you are bound to face a tribulation in your twenty-first year. Today, this tribulation strikes your Gate of Life. If you cannot avoid it, you will be trapped within—minor consequences mean lingering afflictions, major ones mean the dispersal of your soul. There is only one way to break the spell: find the Gate of Life. The Xun position leads to seclusion, hiding a single thread. Pass through this trial, and your life will be spared. From where you stand, head toward the Xun position. Arrive before the third quarter of the Zi hour. That place is your Gate of Life for today. Morning, Meimei. Morning, Sister Dan Mei. Oh, Dan Mei. By the way, your performance today was decent, but I think there are a few points that need strengthening. One thing—Director Tai, I’ve been looking for you for ages. Hurry up, they’re starting to film over there. Hey, I’ve reached the Xun position. What now? Wait. Hey, you rascal bull! Watch me beat you up! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, Master, something seems off. Sister, see you later. Hmm. Launching a massive campaign against Goguryeo. Blood stained the land. No longer believing that military force could resolve this crisis, he proclaimed to the world: “Anyone possessing extraordinary skills shall journey from Yumen Pass, traversing three thousand li of wind and sand, straight to the Xuandu Temple in the Eastern Capital. The first to arrive shall be appointed Imperial Preceptor and granted the Elixir of Immortality.” To attain immortality, practitioners of talismans, mechanisms, alchemy, and astrology—eccentrics and masters of all kinds—spared no effort. Thus began an unprecedented marathon, recorded in history as the “Grand Ceremony of Ten Thousand Seekers of Immortality.” I told you not to meddle blindly. Couldn’t you just stay home? You had