Oh look—it’s not a horse, it’s not a Segway, and no, your therapist didn’t *actually* suggest this as emotional support. Meet China’s latest “ride-or-die” companion: a four-legged robot dog you can *sit on*. Yep. You read that right. It trots. It glows—purple and red, because of *course* it does—and it even has a front-facing camera so it can judge your life choices while you’re busy pretending you’re in *Black Mirror: The Petting Zoo Edition*. No saddle, no bridle—just pure,